Why every parent should read this Facebook post on ‘Motherhood’ that went viral

Something is refreshing about moms who are willing to be authentic, honest, and genuine about motherhood. mother.ly shared a Facebook post that went viral by a mom of three, Casey Huff, and is one of the best articles to read as a parent. Her list of 27 THINGS I WISH I COULD GO BACK AND TELL MYSELF AS A FIRST TIME MOM is relatable and perfectly said. Here is the link to the article; Mother.ly

 

 

I want to share my thoughts and explain why everything she says speaks to me and why it’s one of the best articles to read.

 

 

1. You will, in fact, sleep again. Someday.

 

Yes, you will, but let’s be real sleep deprivation is the worst part of becoming a mom, which is why I started a business as a baby sleep consultant. By taking a proactive approach, you can give your kids the gift of sleep. Plus, having a baby that sleeps through the night, your life changes overnight (no pun intended). Being a good sleeper is developed through healthy sleep habits, and when you start developing these healthy sleep habits at a young age, two things happen. 1. You have kids who sleep through the night into adulthood, and 2. Having a consistent bedtime means you at least have the ability to count down the hours until you get some alone time, which can help your marriage and family life and make getting through the day a little easier.

 

2. Breastmilk is really good for babies. So is formula. Do what you gotta do. They’re your boobs, it’s your baby.

 

Thank you! Breast is best, but if there comes a time where you have to choose between breast or a baby who is fed and hydrated, it should always be the latter. As a Registered Nurse at a pediatrician’s office, I talked many moms off the ledge from feeling like a failure just because they had to give their baby formula.

 

I’ll never forget one family who came in for their first visit. The entire family looked like they hadn’t slept since before delivery. The newborn was so dehydrated his cry was hoarse, and he lost 1 pound from his birth weight. The mom wasn’t giving the baby formula because she was made to believe her worth as a mother was in her ability to breastfeed, and giving formula meant she failed as a mom. It took a lot of convincing for her to understand that the only thing that matters is that baby eats and prevents the baby from becoming dehydrated.

 

We think we are doing the right thing by forcing ourselves to make breastfeeding work, but sometimes that comes with a cost, a starving, dehydrated baby. Breastfeeding can take time to learn, and many variables come into play. The way the baby latches, milk supply, let down, and so many other things. Just because you need to supplement in the beginning doesn’t mean you won’t be able to later. My advice is to always do what’s best for your mental health. In parenting, we have to make a lot of tough decisions. Sometimes the right choices are the hardest to make, especially when choosing between what you want and what is right.

3. Screen time is not the enemy. Make sure whatever your kids are watching is age-appropriate, then sit back and drink your coffee in peace. (Also, prepare yourself to have at least one cartoon theme song stuck in your head at all times).

 

Oh, screentime. Such a controversial subject. Here’s the thing, unfortunately, as much as I don’t like looking at my couch with four heads looking down at a screen, it is a part of their generation. I’m not saying this happens all the time, but I imagine when TVs came out, parents were feeling the same push and pull. Screentime, when used correctly, can become your best friend. It gives you time to either get stuff done or sit down and take long deep breaths. When my kids were younger, I purposely gave them their electronics when it came time to make dinner.

 

Younger kids benefit from using their imagination and socializing with other kids face to face. It’s an essential part of their development, but everything is finding the balance. Some days (aka rainy days), my kids spend more time on their electronics, and other days they’re so busy playing they forget they have them. Here’s what I do. Apple products have a screen time you can set up. You have to add each of your kids to your iCloud as family members, and then you can create a screen time schedule and limit what you want them to use. You can add a time limit they are allowed to add for different apps and restrict the content they can see. I have my boys’ screen time set 2 hours before bedtime. Electronics stimulate their minds, and the lighting can mess up the circadian rhythm. I also see it as an opportunity to teach them to stop using their electronics before bedtime. Unfortunately, if their screen time is off, they will continue to utilize their electronics until I notice. Not sure what will work, but I’ll keep you posted.

 

Unfortunately, electronics will be a big part of our kids’ lives whether we like it or not. We can shield them from it or help them build healthy habits around what the world of electronics will create. Less interaction means we will have to focus more on teaching our kids how to interact with others, looking people in the eyes, firm handshake, manners, and respect. One thing in particular I noticed and immediately addressed was when someone came over. Nobody looked up from their phones to say hi. From that point forward, a rule in our household is to put whatever you’re doing down, look up, and say hi.

 

As kids get older, they will need another level of skill set. Like, having conversations over text that should be done in person, the importance of honest conversations, never ghosting or hiding behind their phone, and never comparing themselves to anyone or anything on social media.

 

4. I know those baby shoes are sooo cute, but put them back. Your baby will wear them exactly one time before the left one goes missing forever.

 

Unfortunately, because tiny shoes are probably the cutest thing made, they either end up in the baby’s mouth or are thrown out of the stroller during a walk. It’s also better that kids learn to walk barefoot (lookup)

 

5. Always have an extra-large bag of chicken nuggets waiting in the freezer for quick lunches or nights you’re too tired to cook dinner.

 

Anytime I buy chicken nuggets, it’s never for a planned meal. The random box/bag of chicken nuggets in the freezer has saved me from many disasters. If you don’t like the idea of chicken nuggets because of the fake meat, there is a brand called Bell and Evans that is 100% natural chicken, and to be honest, they are delicious.

 

 

6. The one time you forget to take an extra change of clothes for your baby will be the one time she has a massive blowout in public. You’ve been warned.

 

There are two stories I have related to this. The first one was when my youngest had just started walking. He could care less about the things seeping from the circumference of his diaper; he just wanted to be on the move, so I had to figure out something. I didn’t have a change of clothes, but thank goodness I was wearing two shirts. I somehow managed to make a romper out of my top. Here’s the picture.

The second story is why I will always have extra clothes and towels in my car until my kids turn 18. My boys wanted to meet up with their friends after school at the park. It had been raining for a week, and there was finally a day when the sun came out. An hour later, six boys come walking up the hill head to toe, wet and covered in mud. They didn’t just fall in a mud puddle; they consciously swam in it. Their friend, who has one sister, not only had to drive home completely naked but was grounded for a week.

 

On the other hand, raising four boys, it’s pretty standard for them to walk knee-deep into a creek, slide down dirt piles and come home from the stream looking like they just swam in the pool. It was just another day, another experience, and something I needed to prepare myself for in the future. For that reason, I will forever carry an extra pair of clothes and a couple of towels.

 

7. The only people who need to approve of your parenting decisions are you and your spouse. YOU are the parent. As long as you have the best interests of your children at heart, ignore the naysayers.

 

This right here speaks my language. I wrote an entire blog post on this topic. What’s important to you is what should drive your decisions. Every parent is different, so having approval from other parents can’t help or hurt you. My advice for every family is to create a list of core values and make all of your decisions based on them. Once you start doing that, you will have confidence in almost every decision.

 

8. Trust your intuition—it’s almost always right, and it’s a valuable gift.

 

This is another one that I wrote an entire blog post about. The thing is, you have to first learn to trust your intuition. It’s not always right, but nothing will be perfect in life. Sometimes things happen for a reason, so regardless if you were right or wrong, your intuition guided you perfectly. You just have to have trust.

 

9. The pediatrician isn’t going to judge you if your kid is wearing mismatched socks at his well-check appointment.

 

Just want to add that your baby will be stripped down regardless. Your pediatrician probably won’t see their outfit either.

 

10. Google can be both your best friend and your worst enemy when it comes to researching your kids’ well-being.

 

One of the exact reasons I do what I do. There isn’t one way to be a parent, and as we all know, there isn’t a manual. You could read one thing and then read the complete opposite in the following Article. One pediatrician in the same practice may advise you entirely differently from the other. Most parenting is subjective, so you have to know what you value most and trust your intuition to make the best decisions for your family. Remember, everything you read about raising kids is mainly from a place of opinion or experience which is filtered from the person writing it, core values.

 

11. You will make mistakes. Push the guilt aside, and do better the next time around.

 

Giving birth doesn’t come with a magical superpower that provides you with all the knowledge and skill needed to be a parent. With each kid, it gets easier because every kid gives you a different experience and lesson. I make it a point to remind my oldest that he’s my first for everything I experience in motherhood. Right now, he’s my first teenager. I may make mistakes, and I probably will make many wrong decisions. When I explain this to him, I turn it into a teaching moment. I remember Sara Blakely (founder of Spanx and first self-made female billionaire) said one of the things her father taught her was how to handle failures. Without failure, there’s no opportunity to learn.

 

12. The $1 craft projects in the dollar spot at Target are sanity-savers and boredom-busters for the toddler years of stay-at-home-motherhood. Throw a couple into your cart every time you’re there. You’re welcome.

 

A thousand percent! It’s also a good section for holidays and party favors.

 

13. The list of things you “would NEVER do” as a parent will get shorter and shorter as time goes by. It’s okay to laugh at pre-kid-you’s optimism and “insight.”

 

One of mine was never letting my boys play with guns, and I will forever remember what my pediatrician said, “If they don’t use their hands like a gun, boys will pick anything up and pretend it’s a gun,” and it couldn’t be more accurate. Another of my “never would” was gaming consoles and electronics. That lasted….never.

 

14. Your mood rubs off on your kids 90% of the time. If you’re struggling with their behavior, take a look at your own.

 

This is a hard one to swallow but so true. Kids are in tune with who we are, “being” more than what we are “doing” I’ve made it a habit to apologize for being too short-tempered or not as present as I know they deserve.

15. Make the pancake before you decide which shape to tell your kid it is. Accidental “dinosaur pancakes” are a whole lot easier to make than intentional ones.

 

I like this advice! Ps. I learned a trick to get a plastic bottle with a pour top. The one I have looks like an old-school ketchup bottle and use that to make your shapes. Cookie cutters never worked for me, so any shape I attempted to make came out like a blob.

 

16. No one who has ever had kids expects your house to be spotless—you’re the only one putting that pressure on yourself. Keep your house as clean or as messy as YOU are comfortable with.

 

This takes skill, but sometimes you have to learn to let go and live in the moment. Currently, I’m teaching my ten-year-old this exact lesson. He hates when the playroom is messy (only when it’s from his brother’s friends, but that’s another topic), and I’m trying to get him to have fun and take care of it later. 

 

17. Anyone who gets tired of seeing photos of your kids on social media or elsewhere can choose to keep scrolling. Don’t feel awkward about being proud of your kids. Show those babies off!

 

And if someone cares, that has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you, I promise.

 

18. Your kids are just as lucky to have you as you are to have them.

 

I love this, and I’ve never heard anyone say this. Often, with any relationship, whether it’s work, friendships, romantic, or family, we forget to remember what we bring to the table. This goes back to knowing your worth,  loving yourself, and having confidence in who you are. 

 

19. If you ever get a photo of your whole family looking at the camera at the same time, frame that sucker. You might not get another until your kids are all teenagers.

 

And sometimes, you will have to use bribes. It used to be lollipops, and now it’s cash. As much as I love having pictures, I hate taking pictures, so I get it. 

 

20. Even when you swear up and down that you are SO READY for a break from your kids, you’ll find yourself missing them when you’re apart.

 

Why is this?! I’m divorced, so my boys go to their dad’s some weekends. Not only do I miss them, but weirdly I get more done when they are here vs. when I’m home alone. The quote, “You can’t live with them, and you can’t live without them,” is accurate and confusing. 

 

21. The best days are the days when everyone in the family stays in their pajamas. Cherish them.

 

I’ve learned to see the beauty on rainy days. I was about to say snowy days, but if anything, those days create the most amount of work in parenting, period.

 

22. Loving your kids in all of their forms is 95% of a job well done.

 

Unconditional love is something I never experienced before kids. Having kids has taught me how to love and how to be loved. Whenever I apologize to my kids, the response is immediate, “mom, it’s okay,” followed by the sweetest, most genuine kiss. 

 

23. Marriage is a tough job, and throwing a baby into the equation will rock the boat more than you ever imagined. Keep working at it; your spouse is worth it.

 

Marriage takes work, and if you aren’t willing to work on it and grow together, you can’t expect it to blossom into something beautiful. One of the biggest misconceptions is when people say marriage should be easy.

24. Find your favorite kind of sweatpants or yoga pants and buy two pairs for the days you’re behind on laundry (AKA, every day).

 

And or wear them more days in a row than you should admit to. I just found a pair of joggers I love from Zella. I’ve wanted to buy some sweats from Madhappy because I love the brand. I just can’t speak for the quality or comfort.

 

25. Don’t be fooled—no one has it all together all of the time.

 

Social media makes us think this, but it’s the farthest from the truth most of the time. Most people who meet me think I have it all together, and that is the furthest from the truth, so this statement is a proven fact for me.

 

26. You are a good mom. SUCH a good mom. Extraordinary, really. There will be many days when you forget that, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

 

If you need to remind yourself, you can always make a bracelet. This is the one I made from a kit I bought off Etsy.

 

27. You don’t have to be perfect for your kids to really, really, REALLY love you.”

 

Unconditional love flows both ways and creates such a pure form of love. It’s the type of love we all crave in a relationship. You’ve hit the jackpot when two people know how to love and be loved.

 

XOXO ♥

 

Sketched by a HAUTEmess mom of four